I've been working for the past several days on my contribution to the Sampler, as well as some items I'm going to be having up in my Etsy shop soon. This is just one of several I've made so far. She's all packaged up & ready to be shipped :D
I've been enjoying sewing these things, actually. Despite their slightly adverse effect(s) on my hands and fingers. So far I've made, mostly Halloween/Autumnal items - crows, bats, spiders and ghosts. I've got a lot more stuff in mind though.
I'm also going to be sewing some up for The Hipp Benefit as well.
Hopefully people like them - even just half as much as I like making them.
I don't have a whole lot more to report, though I expect to be sharing some big news with you all soon.
Show us something that's ridiculously cute.
Show us your favorite photo from last summer.
Summer colors make me happy, so I spent the day immersed in colors. It's been a long, long while since I've been even remotely pleased with a photograph I've taken, but I really like how most of these came out. Okay, about half of them.
When I got back to my car, I got a comic book written about Jesus! I'll be scanning that sucker soon. I think that it's the Jehovah's Witness' newest tactic. Man, they must really like me!
How are you?
Show us a Polaroid picture.
TV, books, movies: Who's your favorite fictional father?
Surely I can't be the only person to have said "Keith Mars" as my favorite fictional father. There are so very few smart, funny, and tender father figures on television, and the Veronica Mars cast and crew nailed it. Keith Mars is everything a man and a father should be - caring, tough, intelligent, careful, and protective.
I've been in a relationship for approximately 15 months. It's long distance, it's difficult, and it's a lot of work. But we do what we need to. The big problem I have with long distance is how the fights play out. Words are spoken or typed furiously and in anger, and with every intention of hurting the other. They are stated without care, with little thought, and with what seems to be a frightening degree of premeditation.
Last night, I was quietly working at my computer when I got a message from an unknown address. I don't often get unsolicited messages, so I was curious as to how said person found me, and also a bit suspicious that it was one of my friends playing silly jokes. The conversation went on for about 20 minutes, before I learned that it actually was someone from my past - but also someone I'd barely, if ever, really known (save for a few brief words exchanged over crowded rooms and the like.) Not long into the conversation, an ease fell over me. We made jokes, we laughed about work, argued politics and discussed our respective studies (me - neuroscience and behaviors, him - biochemistry.) I felt my brain being stimulated, picked at and prodded in a way it hasn't for a very long time. I felt like someone had taken an interest in me. This person had taken more of an interest in me in 30 minutes than my boyfriend seemingly has over the last 15 months.
The conversation didn't last much longer. I was tired and needing sleep. I began to make my excuses, attempting to exit the conversation, when he asked me for my phone number. I hesitated. I've forgotten what it feels like to have my number asked for. It was awkward, strange, and slightly uncomfortable. Though I had done nothing wrong, I knew I wasn't comfortable giving my number out. I politely declined and thanked him for the study break. He asked me if my boyfriend knew how lucky he was. Again, I gave pause. I didn't have an answer prepared for this line of questioning. I typed back "I don't know," and left it at that. We both exited the conversation.
I didn't fall asleep after that. In fact, I didn't fall asleep until 5:00AM or so. My brain was racked with questions. Had I done something wrong? Did I lead this other guy on? Does my boyfriend think he's lucky? Do I think I'm lucky? In the grand scheme of things, is every relationship the same? Are we replaceable to others? Are all men inherently the same? Are all women?
Are we doomed to repeat our past?
John Steinbeck once said "It is a common experience that a problem difficult
at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has
worked on it." and so, I fell asleep, my mind dizzied with these questions - of love, of life, and of meaning.
When I awoke later, it was with a smile. During the night, my 'committee of sleep' was hard at work. I realized that I am not getting the things I want; but I'm not giving them either. I've been so wrapped up in myself, and how I want to be treated, but I haven't been listening to how he would like to be treated.
We are stagnating, in a Mexican standoff of love.
Waiting, our guns loaded with pains of the past, pointed toward each other. Each anticipating the other's next sinister move. I smiled, because the only way out of this, is through. Someone has to drop the gun first. Before last night, I would've had the attitude that I've sacrificed enough for this. For him. And for us. And that it was his turn to make the next move.
Why wait?
I miss my boyfriend, and what we had. I know it's still in there. We just need to drop the guns.
When you give your heart - either in its entirety or in small pieces over time - to another, you open yourself up to not only their love, but their bitterness. Relationships bring out both the very best and the very worst in people.
It's time he sees my best.
What story from your wild-and-crazy youth would nobody believe about you today?
I worked at an after-school care program for kids from K-3. It was, basically, just someplace for the kids to go while they waited for their parents' workdays to be over. There was a boy there named Michael. He was 5 years old and the most rambunctious little boy I'd known (up until that point, anyway).
One day we were working on some sort of craft and he was asking me how old I was and where I went to school. I answered him and he smiled at me, and said "my brother is your age!" The next week, Michael came in and said that he'd need to leave the session early because his brother was picking him up from school that day, to take him out to eat or something.
When his brother walked in, I introduced myself, and we began talking. He asked if I ever did any babysitting, and we'd arranged some weekend babysitting jobs and the like. Eventually, Michael's brother and I got to be decent friends. We started dating, and things progressed.
The relationship ended, but not badly - he left to pursue his music career.
In a boy band. *cringe*
